My father is a saint. He is the most intelligent, insightful and wise person I have ever met. I really needed his fatherly wisdom and this is what he told me. This is advice that I think would be helpful to anyone trying to get over a relationship.
I called my dad in my time of need, and he, of course, was there for me, to give me a spiritual teaching on what I am going through right now. He gives me strength to move on through life and keep walking the red road towards my center. It was so amazing that I desperately tried to type it out as he was talking to me. So, this is merely fragments of our conversation, but I think it focuses on most of the important stuff. The spaces are places that were left out of our conversation and signify mostly, a topic change. I am posting this because I really hope it can help someone else out in their times of sorrow and loss. It needs to be shared. This is my father’s discourse on love:
You are a warrior and you act like a warrior.
I’m a warrior and warriors do not gobble other people up. Warrior’s are not predatory. Most people are predatory though. They struggle with power.
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You guys were very close. You were very close in astrological signs, maybe too close. You should really get your astrology chart done to find out who is in your house of partners. This might help you out in the future when you meet people to know instantly who is compatible with you.
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In a relationship you need something that is balanced. It can’t be too much one way or the other.
I have the feeling it is time to move on. The relationships we had in the fourth world have to be left behind. We are in the fifth world now, and a lot of old relationships will have to break. Relationships that aren’t bearing fruit.
Too many times I was putting out for them and they were betraying me in a way.
In a way this is good. It forces you to move on. You are on a river. You keep flowing.
Some of this we have some control of and some of it is spirit.
The creator has certain goals. It is deeper than we think it is.
You have to realize that in the beginning, middle and end you moved properly. A warrior is always impeccable.
You made the effort and did what your heart told you to do. If I don’t have the heart to be everything to everyone I don’t go out that door.
When you turn that switch on that is your light bulb. All you are doing is shining.
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You could forgive him, but Love is a one shot deal. Its fire away. I was never good with repeat business. It doesn’t work.
But it doesn’t diminish the fullness of it at the time. You shouldn’t feel tarnished. You did nothing to tarnish yourself.
You’ve gotta know that at the end of the day. At the end of the day you have to know you did everything right.
You can’t expect people to be something that they aren’t.
Think of what you were then and what you are now. You did a lot of growing. You were a lot younger.
But you didn’t ever go off your center, or step off your path. You did what was right to your heart. What if you had become his crazed f*cked up dependent servant. You would probably wanna shoot yourself.
You can’t beat yourself up. You were like a cat. You were independent.
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The amount of self control someone has is what it is. You give it your best shot and you move on. You do it one at a time. If you ever do 2 people that is dishonest. It is dishonest to the heart and to yourself. That love relationship is for you. Meher Baba says I love everyone for everyone else, but I love Mehera for myself.
You have to get that word forgiveness in your mind. You might have to see him when you live in New York next semester. You are going to have to forgive him. Because that is the basis for community.
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It doesn’t matter now. It is all about who you are. It is about your responsibility at the end of the day and taking care of yourself. I know you have a problem taking care of yourself because you are a nice person and want to take care of everyone else. It is about your heart. You have to follow your heart. Sometimes your heart wants different things but you always have to follow your heart.
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You were completely dead honest with the whole thing and yourself.
When you find love it is not just sleeping with friends anymore.
I had a friend I slept with once. We slept together but we were never in love like that. Then years and years later I met up with her again and she started falling in love with me.
If she was gonna fall in love with me she should have done it 18 years ago. I had to run away because it just wasn’t right.
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You don’t find love that much. It is something that comes to you and you can’t control it.
But you also can’t toy with people. You can’t be the baboon girl throwing your pussy around.
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You should never meet anyone more than half way. There has to be a bridge. You both have to meet in the middle of the bridge. And they really have to make a bridge to you. It can’t always just be one person or the other.
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He has gone from being your significant other to being your brother. It is one of the white buffalo calf’s ceremonies on relationships. Relationships can change.
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You know, you can move from the friend ladder to the lover ladder easily. But it is harder the other way around. If you go to the lover ladder you can’t go back to the friend ladder.
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Spirit will guide you.
Love isn’t hard to figure out. You don’t have to use logic. You have to follow your heart and you can’t let your head think about it too much.
Meher Baba said he came to put the supremacy of the heart over the head.
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You will feel powerful, and then you will attract whoever you are supposed to attract. You don’t have any strings attached anymore.
He may have been in love with his sister. You are so like his sister and he is so like your father. But the same resonance of those relationships weren’t there.
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Relationships are like fire. With fire you don’t get another chance. Fire is burning, passion, the east, air, Christ energy.
You’re walking along. You’re walking the red road and keep moving.
You have to reinvent yourself. This is another message to you to be yourself. And it says how little you can expect anything from anyone. You can’t ever expect anyone to go one way or the other.
Are you prepared to live without expectations?
The past is gone and the future isn’t here. You shouldn’t be trying to look into the future. Those things are all planned by spirit.
The only way to get through something like karma is to really love someone. You don’t know how many life times you have lived with him before. Who knows what your karma was.
And you really loved him. This is a way to break the karma. The only way to break through karma is through love. Love is all you need. But then it releases you from that cycle. You really loved him and now you can move on through the cycle.
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1 comments:
A way a man I know described his past relationships (not "failed", just past) was interesting. Relationships don't really fail, their path just is not the path you may have hoped for.
I can't remember his exact words but I will describe it as best I can.
People's lives are like spirals spiraling out from a center over time, (actually, they are more like 3 dimensional spirals, but that is too hard to describe). The starting point for these spirals are different for each of us. Our spirals touch each other's throughout life. If we meet someone who's spiral is going in the same direction as ours at the moment, we can connect. Each of our spirals will be influenced by the other, sometimes making the curves of the spirals closer together, sometimes farther apart. The more similar our spirals are to each other, the easier it is to connect, BUT, there tends to be less energy. The more different we are, the more energy (both good and bad). The younger we are, the smaller the spiral is, and therefore, the more of a curve there is. There is more energy there. When we are young we have more of a long term influence on each other, as even a slight deflection will, over time, have a large impact. When we are older, because there is less movement, our curves (paths) are straighter (less change), it is harder to find someone else on the same curve, BUT that person will stay on the same path much longer, and will likely be able to adapt and have a long or even forever relationship. On the downside, there will be less energy, on the upside, it will be more comfortble.
All relationships are times for learning. Learning about ourselves and others. We go through phases in our lives for many reasons. We grow in many different ways. You could say that I have lived my life in a series of long term monogomous relationships. I have always been raher imature deep down. I have seen a few of mine and many other's relationships being just a little out of sync. With some of these, if you look back on the life paths of the two people, you see that they had the same life paths, just at different times. One growing up or settling down 3 or 4 years later than the other. You can also see the influence each had on the other.
A good relationship is a good relationship even if it ends. Even a bad one, at the very least, was a learning experience.
Good luck with your future adventures, and what is life (even a boring one like mine) but an adventure?
Bob L
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